Stereotypes

So I like to occasionally hit up Club Rise and pump my fist on the dancefloor. Does that make me a disgrace of a human being or a disgrace to Italian-Americans? Get to know me, I'm a good guy. And that's why I don't hate on the "Jersey Shore" kids, because they are Guidos and so am I, they just happen to be hedonistic Guidos (or at least that's how the show made them out to be). And I know that Guidoism doesn't only equal extreme hedonism or egoism. I don’t like fellow Italian-Americans telling me how to live my life as an Italian-American. To use an analogy, I’m a Roman-Catholic but I object to being told by a fellow Church member if I miss mass on Sunday that I’m going to hell. I do the best I can to live my life each and every day and to be a good person in a Christian manner—in the ways I was taught and in the ways I see fit. If I miss mass it doesn’t mean I am committing murder. I can also have different views from time to time on certain political issues while still remaining faithful to my registered party of choice—and that does not make me a fake member. People who try and dictate one’s behavior are doing so because they feel insecure about themselves. And to put down the Guido without understanding it, is wrong on the part of UNICO and all these “holier-than-thou” activists out there because we do exist, and we ARE a real subculture of Italian-Americans. Guidos evolve and move out of mama’s house, get careers and start their own families, but still never forget their roots. That’s why I use the word evolve and not reform, because I’ll always be the same proud Jersey Paisan and if I am lucky enough to have a full head of hair when I’m forty, I’ll still spike it up with gel. As a writer, actor and a proud Italian-American under the age of thirty—born and raised in New Jersey—I would like to speak about “Jersey Shore,” the entertainment business and the Guido stereotype. I auditioned for “Jersey Shore” by responding to a casting call asking for “Italian-Americans in their element” when it was being promoted as a totally different (more family-oriented docudrama) type of show by MTV’s sister network, VH-1. I am also a caterer, and my hope was to be the resident cook of the house, and add some genuine Italian-American practices into the mix. As I went along in the audition process, it became clear that the concept was being drastically reformatted as I was told by the producers that to make it I’d have to showcase more of me partying, as opposed to making meatballs and other elements of my Italian-American daily lifestyle—the latter being what I personally considered being a Guido to be all about, but apparently no longer the angle they wanted to focus on. Upon watching “Jersey Shore,” it became confirmed that the drinking, hooking-up and other crazy stuff is what was encouraged to be accentuated most—and what the show’s producers ultimately linked together as being the main characteristics of Guido life. As the season panned out, I watched closely to see whether or not redeemable qualities or an evolution occurred for them, but such moments were few and far between. I do agree with the cast member’s stance that their particular (admitted alcohol-induced) behavior during the summer months at the Seaside beach house shows just a small sampling of their lives, and only defines themselves and does not define ALL Italian-Americans. But they were portrayed in a way that made it look like that was their entire reason for being. Again, I’ll say though, I’m not here to point the finger or call for the show’s boycott, I just do my own thing each day. See, we’ll never really know whether it was MTV’s idea to make “Jersey Shore” in the way it was made or if they were given an ultimatum to either shake up and “Jerry Springer-ize” the format by 495 Productions (the creators) or risk losing the rights to air it. Either way, the direction of the show admittedly was completely changed according to Tony DiSanto (president of MTV) in his interview with The Hollywood Reporter. On January 21st, I explained all this as the co-speaker of the much publicized, “Jersey Shore/Guido Colloquium” at the Calandra Institute at Queens College in New York. I certainly stood out among all the scholars and professors at that event, but that was the point. Like Joe Pesci’s character in “My Cousin Vinny,” my focus was to show that one can have a certain “look” or a way of speaking while still being smart and having goals. A Guido can have a real job and have a steady girlfriend/wife, and lead a wholesome existence. Just because you wear a leather jacket and a gold necklace doesn’t mean you are a violent, drunk individual. The protestors need to learn how to separate a “style” from a lifestyle by getting to know a real Guido (and all of what they truly represent) and not automatically insulting them. One stereotype of using hair gel does not automatically equal another stereotype of being a womanizer or someone looking to pick a fight. A stereotype is a characterizing quality, shared practice and style—among a multitude of factors—used to describe a group of people. All such factors are clearly known within the group and serve as a way for one to easily identify themselves with other members, and distinguish themselves from another group. Beyond that, each member of whatever particular group to which you are referring has their own personal traits, feelings and behaviors—whether that’s displayed privately or outwardly within the group setting. The point I’m making is that, any individual who shares linking traits towards one social class of people also has other defining attributes, which may not always be at the forefront of that groups’ general activities. Based on this, they cannot be judged in a positive or negative manner solely by their membership in the group. Any logical person should know that that is the only way another human being should be properly perceived. None of us are robots or Xerox copies, we all have human elements, and that should always be understood before anyone points the finger. Negative backlash and hostile tension occurs only as a result of someone’s lack of understanding, or a misconception of the group as a whole. This is done by an individual outside of that particular stereotyped group (who in turn is ironically part of their own stereotyped group) who only focuses on one bad apple of the bunch, or focuses on one negative aspect of the group—and let’s face it—no group is flawless or perfect. When one passes judgment in this manner, they are labeling an entire group as “bad,” and turning all stereotypes into pejoratives. See on their own, a stereotype (unless blatantly harmful) cannot be automatically negative. Some are harmful; some are playful but most are pretty accurate and not detrimental in any way. But when any of them are taken out of context, or when one particular negative stereotype is continually perpetuated—it gives the entire group a bad name. It then only adds fuel to the judgmental individuals who spend their own lives disparaging an entire group that’s unlike their own because of a fixation on the one particular aspect. One must look at all of the stereotypical traits to achieve the proper balanced conclusions, while taking every individual’s personal characteristics into consideration and exploring that person’s other side as well. If you take in the scope of everything I’ve just explained, again I’ll say, stereotypes cannot automatically be bad things—unless a group has only bad characteristics and qualities—or the groups’ sole purpose is to cause harm. And in that case, you are no longer talking about the issue of a stereotype, you are simply dealing with a bad group of people, which you can ignore or attempt to reform. We still however, should be extra cautious in our classifications of what’s bad for society—the socially accepted “norm” is often a matter of opinion or personal taste—and this is displayed daily in conservative vs. liberal political battles. The moderate voice in the middle is not heard enough—because the battles (or, the drama) is what entertains the mass audience. Overall though, if a person trying to achieve fame and fortune can’t have a sense of humor and also be self-deprecating at times, the fact is, you aint gonna make it to the top. You just have to watch the fine line of crossing over into complete stupidity if you still want to be respected. Perhaps the Guidos and Guidettes on “Jersey Shore” need some reforming, as we’ve mostly seen shallow and extreme behavior from them on the show. Or, perhaps MTV had their own agenda on how they chose to showcase the Guido by using careful editing, combined with their powers of suggestion (with the dangling carrot of fame and fortune) and manipulated the participants and the final product of the program. I personally believe the latter. As New York Senator Savino explained at the Calandra Institute colloquium from the perspective of someone who grew up in the Guido world, the idea of being one was never a pejorative. MTV has reclaimed this 30+ year old word and it is now mostly thought of as a negative thing because of the nine “Jersey Shore” episodes who may or may not have featured real Guidos, but clearly featured individuals referring to themselves as such—and MTV has exploited every scene of their alcohol-fueled reckless behavior and redefined that as typical Guido behavior. The place where this word and group originated should have been the ones to reclaim it, and that’s what I am attempting to do by producing my own television project about this subculture. By the pretentious elite making it their primary effort to pretend such a group never existed or simply accept MTV’s definition of it is wrong. I applaud all the efforts of the higher-cultured Italian-Americans and all they do in presenting sophisticated and proper depictions of Italian-Americans. But calling for boycotts of depictions that are not up to their standards does not help their own cause—this is akin to an extreme conservative calling for a muzzle on members of the far left. While there are clearly going to be differences of opinions on what’s right and wrong, it is vital that each side be allowed to express their own beliefs, and if necessary, exchange civil conversations to learn about such differences—never angry debates or childish name-calling. The Guido was always the representation of the moderate voice, or the average Joe that did not identify with highbrow or trailer park. The Guido/Goomba/Cugine subculture originally emerged over thirty years ago to define the working class, East Coast Italian-American, who had a particular ethnic look as a child or grandchild of immigrants, but was proud of that fact. It was a complete 360 in the way earlier generations were encouraged to tone down some of their ethnic characteristics or even change their last names. That’s why the display of the Italian flags are so prominent in this bunch—as a way to really accentuate the fact. There are countless “You may be Italian If…” e-mail forwards on the internet, but they are really referring to this particular lot. Other unifying traits emerged as well, from a meticulous attention to detail with regards to one’s hair to certain styles of dress, whether that’s Fila jogging suits or “Tony Manero”-inspired shirts with gold jewelry, and a preference to drive muscle cars or Cadillacs. These are all tributes to Italy’s rich fashion history and dedication to one’s appearance. Although not exactly the same, the idea is that the Iroc-Z is the American Italian’s Lamborghini, and the shared pride is there. There was always “roots to the boot” within this subculture, and again those who can’t relate, automatically label the Guido’s personal perceptions of what’s “keeping the heritage alive” as being fake or wrong. Saying “pro-shoot” or “capeesh” is not a bastardization of prosciutto and capice (such implies it has no authentication), but this type of slang is its own dialect in itself. Italian-American culture is a hybrid of European-Italian culture, and the way one chooses to live their lives shouldn’t impact someone else or create inferiority complexes. Any effort to keep an homage to the past should be applauded, even if it’s not in a formal manner. Look, a lot of this stuff may seem superficial and silly, but at the heart of it all, a true Cugine’s life revolves around family and respect and keeping those heritage-linked ideals alive with pride. A Cugine is a proud American, but a proud American of Italian heritage. He’ll love baseball, but he’ll take an extra interest in Mike Piazza—because he’s a fellow Paisan. Movies like “Rocky” are so appealing because of that same level of relatability. Just like back in the day, you rooted for Joe D. The “Brooklyn Blow-out” Travolta styled in “Saturday Night Fever” has evolved into a blowout with a spiking of the hair using gel. Dancing like “Tony Manero” did to disco is now fist-pumping to techno music. See this is the only stuff that has changed, and it’s not changed into bad things. It’s when someone takes it to the extreme (think Pauly D. of “Jersey Shore” tattooing Cadillac onto his body or proclaiming it takes 25 minutes to style his hair.) I don’t take 25 minutes, and I achieve the same look. When these things are elevated to the extreme or when they become the most important things in life as opposed to just PARTS of the Guido life, or when having fun at a club turns into a drunken fist-fight, the person turns into a caricature of themselves and is never taken seriously. Somewhere along the line, little by little all these practices were taken to those levels and the Italian aspects became replaced by other ideals, and that’s never been more evident than with “Jersey Shore” and the idea that a daily routine of “Gym-Tanning-Laundry” is what it’s all about. Meeting friends for espresso at a soccer club, grabbing a slice of pizza, playing some bocce ball or going to San Gennaro or any kind of saint-inspired feast are just a few activities that highlight this lifestyle along with macaroni at Nonna’s on Sunday afternoons and huge holiday extravaganzas with food, wine, cigars, and just lots and lots of emotions and expression. As each one of the light-hearted but true listings on those “You May Be Italian If…” e-mails became replaced with non-Italian things, and even worse, descriptions like: penchant for violence, low IQ level, reckless promiscuity, daily drunkenness and other similar nonsense, everything got turned upside down. This all needs to be cleared up now for the next generation, and I’m the young Cugine with the old-school mentality who knows the real deal. The gap needs to be bridged between the extremists on both sides, and this can only be done with civil discussions like the event in New York that I was lucky enough to be a part of. But I will repeat, that was only a start. The next step is getting my story out there, and I’m trying to do that every day as an entertainer. My “North Jersey Cugines” show that I am trying to produce will appeal to everyone. I’m not highbrow, but I’m not a buffoon either.