Guido Colloquium

Participating in the “Guido Colloquium” was a very exciting event—indeed it was quite a situation. Speeches were given, followed by a Q&A discussion where I talked about the popular “Jersey Shore” show and what exactly this guido stuff is all about. From the day I was invited, I wondered, why me? What makes me so special? I guess if you put yourself out there enough, people start to notice, and I certainly got noticed from the moment I sat in my chair and grabbed that microphone. I was surrounded by scholars and professors at the Calandra Institute in New York, but even though I was pretty nervous, I actually never felt out of my element. I made a lot of contacts and I think strides were made in clearing up some misconceptions about a lot of subjects—but this was only a start. I am grateful for the opportunity and thank everyone who invited me and attended, as well as all of you out there who watched it live online. I tried to handle myself as best as I could and really get the message out there that although I’m not a professor myself, I’m not a buffoon either. I think I can convey a message without being over-the-top and turning myself into a caricature. I did interviews for newspapers, posed for photos, and just spoke from the heart and kept it real. And the plan here is to continue to put myself out there so that I can be a part of more events like this, and expand my audience through all media outlets possible. I may not be Harvard-educated, but I have no insecurities with who I am or how I plan to become a success in this world. And when I do make it big, I’ll never forget my roots. I love Italian-Americana. I think this is pretty clear in the stuff I write about and the way I conduct myself on a daily basis always trying to incorporate the green, white and red somehow into each day—in my own way. Friends and family know I wanna be an entertainer full-time and make my own mark. Call me a guido if you want, I don’t take offense because I know guidoism doesn’t equal extreme egoism or reckless hedonism. It’s unfortunate that a bunch of “activists” think this way and in turn feel the need to belittle all of us as if we all aren’t up to their level of “sophistication.” I tried to bridge that gap on my trip to New York. And I want to continue to showcase what I’m saying—on the screen. But here’s the thing…if a person trying to achieve fame and fortune can’t have a sense of humor and also be self-deprecating at times, the fact is, you aint gonna make it to the top. That means you can still be a good person even if you occasionally act a bit crazy—especially if you’re young—but it’s unfair to make that the final and only defining factor. Everyone knows by now that I auditioned for “Jersey Shore,” and was among the finalists to get on the show. I was hoping to add some depth to the house and spin the experience into bigger things. The kids who made it were the definition of over-the-top (they’ll even admit it), but they are all now spinning the experience into bigger and better things, and fame and fortune is calling them. Buona Fortuna to Vinny and the rest. My day will come, and in the meantime, my whole world is a stage and this cugine is gonna do it his way. As I said in my i-Italy Op-Ed piece and also at the colloquium, reality shows like “Shore” are meant to play up the most dramatic and crazy moments—and the “cast members” were encouraged to ham it up for the camera. (Keep in mind, most who go on reality shows are aspiring entertainers.) No one really knows if their lives at home are consumed with what we’ve seen from this small sampling of a few months in a beach house. Let’s be honest, what else other than carefree fun and silliness would occur there? The show profiled hedonistic experiences of guidos, not the entire lifestyle. And within each of those housemate’s worlds, they have their own lives and their own complexities just like every other person. I thought we may have perhaps seen some more of that on the show to balance things out. Maybe then there would have been less haters, or it could have at least given more insight on East Coast Italian-American youth ideals. There were a few episodes with genuine family moments but overall, it’s a fact that the shock TV stuff is what brings in the most ratings. As the season panned out, I watched closely to see whether or not redeemable qualities or an evolution occurred for them. We’ll have to see what projects Pauly D and the gang do from here, or we’ll just have to wait and see what season two brings on that front. They aren’t going away though. I’ve been trying to break into the biz for a long time, and I’ve had my cups of coffee here and there. In March of 2000, I made my TV debut on Sally Jessy Raphael as a stage guest to talk about the “Sopranos” craze and was lucky enough to meet the cast and do a scene as a non-speaking extra in season four a few years later. In October of 2005, I co-hosted the public access show, “The Independent Variety Showcaze” for an olive oil segment. Besides doing a few background scenes on “Kitchen Nightmares” and “Diners, Drive-ins & Dives,” I haven’t had much recent exposure. Every experience was a blast and I’ll never forget any of them, but now is my time to really shine and show the ways of the Jersey goomba. And the representation will show pride and respect. So here’s my pitch to all the head honchos at HBO, PBS, RAI, MTV (if you dare), and anyone else out there who wants to really dig deep into all the complicated aspects of this breed of individuals, flaws and all. I need my forum—a regular program, mini-series or even a docudrama to bring balance and to display how one can evolve as a guido. This will be classy, funny, educational and entertaining and highlight the origins of this popular species from the ‘70s, all the way to present day. I have so many ideas and so much to bring to the table. And it isn’t going to be all about hair gel. Sure, there would be things covered like hair styles, tanning, grooming habits, dancing, fitness (not with the use of steroids), and the speech patterns and other stereotypes, but if you read CUGINE CORNER faithfully, and were a fan of my other online column, there’s so much more I would love to share. Basically we’re talking about my writing coming alive, my life on film. I’m ready to team up with anyone out there who is on the same page as I am, and get this thing off the ground. If I have to, I’ll put it on public access or youtube with my own handheld camera. The bottom line is, this type of reality show needs to be made. See, I want to explore and detail the actual reasons as to why these certain characteristics and traits of a particular car choice are agreed upon by the majority of the young cugine. All from the perspective of a cugine from the neighborhood. Will such a concept get the ratings and be a success without mafia tie-ins or exaggerated drama? I’d say yes to that, because yours truly would bring humor and excitement to all kinds of things… Everything from music, wine, cigars, coffee, jewelry, cars, bocce, olive oil, religion, holiday traditions, comparisons on such practices and traditions and how they vary from places like Brooklyn to South Philly, profiles on real goomba entertainers past and present (Pat Cooper, Tony Danza, etc.), as well as politicians and athletes. And of course, FOOD. This stuff has really not been explored in detail by anyone my age—and I think this would get a huge crossover audience, besides just the target under-30 working class East Coast viewer. If Mike “The Situation” can have mass appeal, I think I can too, even though I don’t have quite the abs. More than anything else, I think this would be a unifying step in the right direction for all Americans of Italian descent, from the highest scholar to the average Joe—just as this colloquium was. John Travolta did an amazing job with his “Tony Manero” role in 1977, but it’s time to dig deeper into the life of the young cugine, and update things for 2010. There’s so much more than just “Jersey Shore.” And just as Nik Cohn’s New York Magazine story, “Tribal Rites of the New Saturday Night,” led to the creation of “Fever,” hopefully my writings can lead to a whole new exploration of this world.

A New Plant In The Garden State

Corzine is pretty proud of himself for his final "accomplishment" before leaving office in legalizing medical marijuana. This is a travesty, and here's why...

Every other commercial on TV now is some advertisement from a pharmaceutical company, urging you to “ask your doctor,” about whatever drug they are pushing at the moment. Your average American with any particular medical ailment is not the same as a convenience store customer debating whether they should purchase Pepsi or Coke. In other words, only medical professionals obviously have a high level of background on the subject, yet these TV ads treat a drug like a can of soda. Yes, we should all do our research, but we shouldn’t be the ones suggesting to our physicians what prescriptions they should write us based solely on the information in some skewed ad we see while watching “American Idol.” These ads confuse people—there’s a reason not all meds are over-the-counter, and no thirty second description can give one the knowledge that someone in the healthcare profession has spent years studying. What’s worse is that these billion dollar drug companies have arrangements with medical offices and hold great influence over doctors—changing the manner in which they conduct their profession. They alter the field into nothing more than a cold corporation—and not a practice of providing health care. New Jersey has passed the bill to allow legalization of medical marijuana, so we may soon see ads now directing you to ask your doctor about this new “medicine.” The language of this bill is very broad, and Senator Madden (D-Gloucester), rightly argues that this “could replicate the kinds of abuses seen in San Diego and Los Angeles, where some doctors are giving marijuana essentially for every ailment they could think of—from premenstrual syndrome, attention deficit disorder and schizophrenia.” People argue one should have the right to “die with dignity,” what about living with dignity? Will it be the drug companies, the doctors or the patients who determine the level of one’s justification for obtaining pot? What about the fakers that just want to get high, who no doubt will easily be able to get their scripts? What about the doctors who choose to not write these prescriptions? Are they going to be hit with some ridiculous “discrimination” lawsuits? What’s even worse here is that we aren’t talking about pills containing marijuana ingredients—one would be allowed to actually legally get plants from “compassion centers” to grow in their home back yards right next to those Jersey tomatoes. Are members of the N.J. Senate so naïve that they actually think this is a safe and wholesome idea for households? “Barbecue at the Smith family this weekend, can’t wait to see how the garden is coming along!” Puffing on weed is now going to be socially acceptable in New Jersey and not a crime? What’s next, the legalization of heroin? Cocaine? Don’t laugh, we may see this stuff on TV in a few years. Maybe “Intervention” can sponsor? This is not a joke by any means. I can guarantee this is going to not only be a disaster, but it’s going to lead to more disasters. There is no way to properly regulate a recreational drug’s use so that it is only obtained and used in extreme cases of terminal patients—but even then it still should not be a justifiable option if you ask me. The bottom line though is that the government is not here to regulate such things anyway, especially at the expense of state taxpayers. Is “Obama Care” going to add in some new measure where I’d have to be forced to actually contribute money to fund these “compassion centers,” or be fined? This whole thing is sickening to me, no pun intended. However, I’m not going to smoke pot to try and feel better about it.