Setting THE RECORD Straight

I am no longer writing my “Here’s Johnny” column for The Cliffview Pilot. It was a good run, and I enjoyed it very much. My former editor at The Cliffview, Jerry DeMarco, seemed like a good guy, but he’s very lost and confused right now. For awhile there, he was supportive of me and my goals, however, he showed his true colors as being a complete control freak. It got to the point where he felt that I was supposed to consult him if I decided to use the bathroom, and if I didn’t, I was considered a “backstabber.” What happened was, I had a telephone conversation with Bill Ervolino, columnist for The Record, and he took that as somehow me being disloyal to him since I didn’t ask his permission before Bill and I chatted. Jerry wrote all kinds of nasty things on his facebook page about me and wrote a horrific, lies-filled blog on his “Borough 6” site. (I wrote back to that blog in an attempt to defend myself from his mean-spirited remarks, however he did not have the guts to post my response there.) I still feel compelled to give my side of the story—it’s just really not cool to have your name dragged through the mud. Below is my response to his blog titled, “I knew it was you all along, Fredo”

Allow me to clear up a few things here...
Bill Ervolino and I have been talking for years, long before I ever hooked up with Mr. DeMarco. I didn’t realize two adults needed permission from a third party to speak to one another—especially about a topic that the third party has nothing to do with. I’ve been a longtime reader of The Record and Bill’s column, despite Jerry’s disapproval of me reading such a “lame, boring, directionless publication.” I guess I blame that on my ignorance. That being said, I understand Mr. DeMarco was “shit-canned” from The Record and there are obvious bad feelings there. Yes, I was a columnist at The Cliffview Pilot so there could have been a direct conflict of interest if I was going around outwardly promoting the fact that I liked The Record (or trying to write for them.) I know it’s Jerry’s goal in life to stick it to The Record by trying to be the first to publish breaking stories. That all being said, I could understand Jerry being a little upset if Bill and I were collaborating on some breaking story for The Record behind Jerry’s back. But the fact is, Bill and I were talking about “Jersey Shore” and Guido life (stuff I personally have a lot of insight and interest in) for a column Bill was writing. Big deal. Jerry even acknowledged (in his own “sour grapes” way) the fact that this was not an act of us sneakily trying to get some “you read it here first” article before him with the second line in his opening rant: “Leave it to The Record to be weeks behind the curve.” Here’s the thing though…I was not OWNED by Jerry DeMarco or The Cliffview Pilot. If I wanted to write a column for The Record, that’s my right and I didn’t need his permission or approval. Jerry is a control freak and expects his UNPAID columnists (who promote his site, help him find advertisers and work for him for free) to be his puppets. Because I knew how bitter Jerry was over his departure from The Record, I courteously—as a friend—told him that I had spoken to Bill Ervolino. I did not want Jerry to think I was trying to ditch The Cliffview for his archrivals (even though, as I said, that is my right even if I wanted to do that.) Yet I guess in Jerry’s mind, that’s what was going on. Funny how that was so far from reality. The kicker in all of this is that Bill’s column has not even been written or published yet. Jerry just somehow assumed that if my name appeared in Bill’s story that The Cliffview would not be mentioned. So instead of waiting to see, he completely flipped out and spewed insult after insult on facebook and now on this (Borough 6) site. I’m sure he ruined any chances of his site being mentioned now, and Lord knows he could have used the exposure. Jerry is lucky I haven’t filed a lawsuit for defamation of character. I did nothing wrong here and have been loyal to him from day one. I deserve a public apology. Jerry is so worried about being hurt that he wants to be the one to preemptively hurt others. And he seems to like to slander his own people. This is the second time he has lost a columnist. If he doesn’t start treating people with respect he will have no more columnists, and eventually no more site. Jealousy and insecurity are not good qualities and when you exhibit them time after time, you will find yourself completely alone, with no colleagues or friends. Maybe he can find what he is looking for at Starbucks.

http://borough6.wordpress.com/2009/12/18/i-knew-it-was-you-all-along-fredo/

"Slippery Slope" Defined

No matter how you cut it, adding the word gay in front of the word marriage is redefining the entire essence of what marriage has always been (a legal union between a man and a woman). Therefore, since “gay marriage” would differ so greatly from traditional marriage as we know it (as it only would apply to same-sex couples), broadening the definition would then be creating an offshoot (or, a “division” of marriage) reserved for this particular minority group. That not only minimalizes marriage’s original meaning, it opens the door to a whole host of other such expansions of this union. It’s irrelevant whether you believe in the cultural, religious or legal reasoning for only recognizing marriage in the sense that our society has always defined it as. Because the fact is, for all those reasons (and many others), that’s what the institution of marriage has always been. If there is a total approval and acceptance of gay marriage, could that one day lead to the same for “beastiality marriage” (marrying animals)? Could it someday expand into everyone being granted the right to a “polygamous marriage” (having multiple spouses)? Could it lead to an open acceptance of “intrafamilial marriages” (incest)? Of course, those may be extreme thoughts, but up until recent times, the idea of marriage between members of the same-sex was an equally unbelievable thought. By going by this conservative “slippery slope” theory, we are protecting ourselves from all of those other possible changes, which liberal groups will petition are simply just “progressive” advances in our society. For one to follow this theory it is not defining them as “anti-gay.” Whether one approves of a gay lifestyle or not is not the issue. I say, consenting adults can do what they want in the bedroom—but it should end there. People have sex with animals and their cousins too, however do we want those who practice that lifestyle to also be treated as no different than a man and woman having sex in wedlock? We all are entitled to our beliefs, but when a lifestyle or belief is in the extreme minority and a public spectacle is made for the purposes of having the government deem such as “equal” (when it is a completely altered transformation of a long-standing fundamental concept), that is unconstitutional. It’s just like the mentality of legalizing marijuana. When does that turn into the legalization of cocaine? Heroin? Why should we ever “play with fire”? Take euthanasia. If it is ok now in cases of terminally ill patients, soon enough it will be ok in patients who are not terminally ill but who are just in pain and no longer want to live. From there one would claim they have the “right to die” if they have any slight discomfort or if they have depression. Is that not suicide? Do we want to rename it something one day and make it into a socially acceptable thing? Are those that assist in the process going to be called “health advocates” and “pioneers” and not what they truly are—murderers? That is so not the principles of what the United States is all about.

As each generation invents multiple, broader definitions of centuries-old institutions, less and less values are upheld and more and more once unheard of possibilities become realities we all must be forced to accept—thus creating total anarchy. Where will any lines be drawn, and where will any standards of living be respected?

"Accomplishment" Defined

I began writing food and humor columns for THE CLIFFVIEW PILOT online newspaper in September. Since then I've had 20 articles published on the site. I'm not sure how long this adventure will last, but I've enjoyed every single minute of it. I'm very happy with this accomplishment!

12.6, YOU CAN FOOL SOME OF THE PEOPLE...
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/816-johnny-decarlo-you-can-fool-some-of-the-people-but-not-this-goombah

11.28, THE REAL GUIDO
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/783-johnny-decarlo-the-real-guido

11.25, THE DINING OUCH! GUIDE
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/772-johnny-decarlo-the-dining-ouch-guide

11.21, MAKE IT TOMATO SEASON YEAR ROUND
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/761-heres-johnny-make-it-tomato-season-all-year-round

11.19, EAT THIS...AND THIS...AND THIS
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/750-heres-johnny-eat-this-and-this-and-this

11.11, HOT STOVE LEAGUE: YO LORRAINE!!!!
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny../710-hot-stove-league-yo-lorraine

11.7, THE RISE OF JOHNNY DISCO
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/695-the-rise-of-johnny-disco

11.3, TOOLS OF IGNORANCE
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/680-heres-johnny-tools-of-ignorance

10.26, YOU CAN’T WATCH THE YANKEES WITHOUT THIS
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/652-heres-johnny-you-cant-watch-the-yankees-without-this

10.25, TRICK OR YIKES!
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/665-johnny-decarlo-wearing-something-scary-for-halloween-trick-or-treaters-who-come-to-door

10.17, NATURE BOY
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/614-heres-johnny-nature-boy

10.9, YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO COOK IF YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO SHOP
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny../585-heres-johnny-you-dont-know-how-to-cook-if-you-dont-know-how-to-shop

10.5, COMFORT FOOD LIKE NONNA USED TO MAKE
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny./561-heres-johnny-comfort-food-like-nonna-used-to-make

9.28, ARRIVEDERCI, MY LITTLE BICHON
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/539-heres-johnny-arrivederci-my-little-bichon

9.23, HELP! I’M IN BINGO HELL
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/511-heres-johnny-help-im-in-bingo-hell

9.20, THE MAGICAL MYSTERY OF THE FABULOUS FINOOK
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/496-heres-johnny-the-magical-mystery-of-finook

9.14, THE LAWN DOCTOR IS OUT
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/455-heres-johnny-the-lawn-doctor-is-out

9.11, AUTUMN AND APPLES
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny/445-heres-johnny-autumn-and-apples

9.8, PRAISE THE LORD AND PASS THE ZEPPOLE
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny../428-heres-johnny-praise-the-lord-and-pass-the-zeppole

9.1, DEBUT COLUMN: SALUD TO LABOR (OF LOVE) DAY
http://www.cliffviewpilot.com/good-life/heres-johnny?start=20

"Reality TV" Defined

I’ve been exchanging dialogue via e-mail with Richard Annotico of the H-Itam Italian-American organization about the new "Jersey Shore" show on MTV. Richard has been extremely critical of me and downright mean, resorting to calling me a “retard,” and “a waste of life” and various other things I’d rather not repeat here. I not once insulted him or shared that column with him to open up a debate, and even when he knocked me, I did not fire back with such immature words. And he’s twice my age. For him to be so derogatory and judgmental of me (without knowing me at all), I take it that he, along with many of his associates, are very insecure. And like I said in my column, they are the real prejudiced thinkers. I’m a dedicated family man, and I have very strong conservative values and respect. I have a job, and big future goals and plans. And although I am not college-educated, my intellectual and social IQ is clearly higher than his. I also know how to compose a cohesive thought into a sentence without resorting to childish name-calling. But I don’t need to defend myself to him or to anyone. As a writer and actor, I want to share some things about the entertainment industry. Either I was slightly misled, or the show I auditioned for back in May was not “Jersey Shore” after all. At the time of my audition, the title was not yet selected, yet there do seem to be quite a few similarities about the program and about the audition. But there were a few slight surprises which I discovered after watching last evening’s two-hour season premiere on MTV. I know how TV works and there are creative changes all the time, from the early conceptual planning stages of a project like this, all the way to the final cuts in the editing room that make it onto the air. Such things are strictly handled by the network bigwigs and higher-ups, and their decisions are solely based on what scenes generate the most viewers—and ultimately bring in the most money. In fact, when a show is promoted, the general response that the potential viewer shows with their reaction (gauged in today’s market by the instant feedback that the internet and social networking sites bring in), can hold a lot of weight in determining the actual evolution of such a show’s production and content. So that all being said, although some things surprised me about last night’s show (like “Snookie’s” strip-down in the hot tub), that doesn’t mean I wasn’t expecting them, because—as I said—that’s show biz for ya. And even if I personally would have preferred to not see a few things take place in the show, it’s still not my place to criticize MTV or to demand the show be taken off of the air. It’s a fact that reality TV shows have lots of staged moments and levels of exaggeration on topics that otherwise are no big deal. They are basically just like any other show—only difference is, the “actors” are not professionals. For those that may not know, Viacom owns MTV and VH-1, essentially that means they are sister networks. Back in the day, VH-1 was created to cater to a slightly older demographic, meaning the place for people to eventually turn to once they outgrew MTV. Now, they are pretty much the same channel, and air the same types of reality shows. When I auditioned, I met with the casting directors who told me that they were planning to make an upscale “Hills”-type show on VH-1 and NOT a “Real World”-type show. I personally don’t watch either, but I have seen both, so I know there are indeed differences. The first is more of a docudrama style reality show with a focus on the characters’ backstories, while the latter is basically just a show about people living in a house and partying in a particular city. Neither show is a PBS documentary, and I don’t really care for them personally. The only thing that attracted me to “Jersey Shore, ” was the Garden State element (being a proud lifelong New Jerseyan), and the fact that most of the characters would be of Italian-American heritage like myself. The producer I met with told me they wanted to make sure they accurately showed “real Jersey Italian-Americans in their element, with dignity.” His words. Now I know full well that anyone that goes on these types of shows are all seeking some semblance of fame, and if the viewers are there, everyone gets the publicity they want. I’m an entertainer, I yearn for the big stage and I wanted to be a part of this to possibly spin the experience into bigger and better things. Now I was told to be “over the top” in the audition, and to accentuate my personality and what being a guido meant to me. Maybe my definition wasn’t exactly what they were looking for. I wanted to bring some of that realness to the show from the perspective of being a lifelong Jersey boy who actually knows a lot about Italian culture—specifically food—and I was hoping to sort of be the resident cook of the gang. Perhaps that was not crazy enough, I don’t know. Look, I can club it up and fist-pump with the best of them, but that’s not the only thing going on in my life, and the way I saw it was if they wanted real and they wanted dignity, I was there to provide that. And as I said in my “Real Guido” column, I’m not a poser. I follow the cultural, culinary and religious traditions of my heritage with true pride, and nobody knows and loves New Jersey like me. I don’t know how this show will turn out as the season progresses. Maybe more of the character’s homelife will be discussed. Maybe we’ll find out more about their backgrounds, their careers, their families, and other things like that. Maybe we won’t see any of that, and it will just be a weekly party show of biceps, boobs and booze. I can’t review the entire season based just on last night. Yes, there were brief moments when we saw some genuine Italian family moments and basic values (Vinny for example when he was leaving home, or when “The Situation” cooked a traditional meal for the housemates.) Overall, most of the scenes were like a car crash—and I don’t mean that as a bad thing. You know how it is when you just can’t look away? I couldn’t seem to look away (especially with the eye candy the guidettes provided). I was sworn to secrecy by VH-1/MTV and told not to reveal any inside information about “Jersey Shore,” even once it aired. But I didn’t sign any confidentiality contract. They told me that if this show makes it to a second season, that I’d be part of the new cast and have my opportunity to show the REALNESS factor (or at least, the way I interpret that). I’m not sure now if I want to do it anymore, simply because I’m at a stage in my life now where partying every night at the Jersey Shore is not the way I spend my summers. Frankly, I’d rather be at an Italian feast eating zeppoles with my guidette. Based on last night’s show, it seems that the party scene is what MTV is mainly interested in showcasing. I could be wrong and future episodes may contain more true “Italian-Americana.” Too early to tell. But don’t call me shallow if I actually find myself watching the whole season of this show if overall we get more car crash moments than not. No matter what, I’m sticking to my original defense of MTV’s right to air whatever programs they want, and while this may be over the top, it uses the guido term as a characterizing nickname relating to these eight girls and guys—again, it’s not intended to be a racial slur. In fact, if they all referred to themselves as “Bennies” (a nickname for summer Jersey shore beachgoers), I doubt that any anti-defamation activists would be making a stink over it.) Because they are beachgoers who happen to be of Italian-American heritage and use that “G” word, the “haters” feel they have the right to knock them as human beings. Again, that just speaks of their own insecurities. No matter how this show pans out, it won’t insult me as a young person (and especially not as an Italian-American), because no eight kids residing from any state in our great country—regardless of their nationality define ME—or anyone else. And nobody has the right to dictate how they behave or how this show is “supposed to be,” that’s what makes America so great. It’s very extreme to say an entire generation/culture is being defined, defamed or categorized by this program. I can walk tall with confidence knowing I’m not hurting anyone, and it doesn’t look like these guidos are trying to be gangsters or Mafiosos. I have goals and dreams and lots going on, and I’m sure these kids do too. Let them have their fun while they are young. I will never be ashamed of my roots or my accent, or worried that if I wear my hair a certain way or go dance at a club that people will look down on me. The old expression is you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, and people who try to get away from their roots because they feel that it would hurt their professional appearance need to stop living in denial of who they are. We’ve come a long way, where back in the day an Italian immigrant felt the need to drop the vowel at the end of their last name to assimilate. Now, it’s cool to be ethnic. Yes, some people take that concept too far. But it’s like politics, where you have your propaganda-spreading extremists from both the left and the right who do not define all members of that particular party. Or with sports, you have your bandwagoners who know nothing about the Yankees, for example, and jump aboard when the World Series rolls around going to their corporate suites and wearing the interlocking NY hat. Yet a die-hard like me is always a dedicated fan. Do these “suits” annoy me? Sure. But it’s not my place to tell them what to do. Someday when I achieve a higher level of fame and fortune, I will produce my own TV show on this subculture, which will be from my perspective. I'm a dedicated researcher of all things Italian and Italian-American. It was my mother's first language as a kid, and I have actually been to Italy. We can't deny that there is a subculture here on the East Coast that needs to be explored and dissected, whatever you want to call it. My show will be classy, funny, educational and entertaining. It will show the evolution of this popular species from its origins with “Tony Manero” in the ‘70s, all the way to present day. It will dig deep into all the complicated aspects of this breed of individuals, flaws and all. And it will show that even the flawed aspects are redeemable qualities, unlike those of, say a mobster. But I’m sure somebody out there will find inaccuracies, or something that still would not have been exactly perfect in their eyes. To them I’ll say the same thing I’m saying now about “Jersey Shore,” which is: lighten up. Live your lives, and leave me, Vinny, and everyone else alone.

"Indecision" Defined

President Obama’s speech to the nation last evening was not particularly anything special. I’m sugarcoating it. The speech was weak. The President is sending more troops, which is what General McChrystal asked him to do. Ok, not the exact amount he was asked for, but I’ll give Obama credit for finally acknowledging that the war is far from over. It’s good he wants us all to be united and on the same page. But, he did not speak with much conviction, or really tell us any sort of gameplan other than that he was sending more troops. Furthermore, I’d say he made a huge error in proclaiming to our enemies a date for troop withdrawal (which, we all know is wishful thinking and was said as nothing more than to serve as a “nugget” to all the voters he had on his side that were told the war would be ending in a timely manner upon his election.) No coincidence his date for beginning the withdrawal is right before the 2012 election. Obama was very indecisive on a lot of fronts. Some say indecision is not a sign of weakness. I say, momentary indecision in general is just human nature, but if it’s treated as something that one needs to remedy—by finding the root cause of the indecision and then ultimately, (and in a timely manner), coming to a conclusion—it’s not necessarily a bad thing. However, if the indecision becomes a gripping tentacle over the person and that in turn morphs into a higher level of doubt, what’s occurring then is that you are succumbing to the “fear of fear” factor and not handling the matter at hand. Our President is in a tough spot, but it’s a spot he put himself in. Whether members of his campaign, the left-spinning media, or Obama himself hinted to America that the war would be ending once he was elected, is irrelevant here. That message was conveyed to the voters as part of his platform. But right there you have to blame the voters. Any American who voted thinking that the day Obama stepped into the White House that all the troops would be sent home was delusional. Even if Obama wanted that to occur, things just don’t work like that. Wars don’t simply end in that manner. Now Obama was really in a no-win situation last night, again, only at the fault of his own, but could have done one of two things. He could have strongly conveyed a message that he was sending more troops, delivered a gameplan (sans any talk of withdrawal), and only focused on how to succeed. That would have angered the liberals, but it would have been the right thing to do (no pun intended). Or, he could have said he was not sending any more troops and that he was going to begin to take action with regards to bringing the soldiers home in a realistic time frame. Why did he not do the latter? Because he knows that the latter is an impossible task with the way things are in the Middle East. Our soldiers are in a place that is as underdeveloped as Central Africa, and our presence is needed. To ensure long-term stability, a long-term non combat-type presence is also required, and the point of sending these troops at this time is to transition our armed forces towards them establishing their own. But he failed to even acknowledge that basic fact. By simply stating he was sending more troops and not showing the American people why they are going, or what we plan to accomplish, he is just sending them into the fire. Today, you have both the left and the right unsatisfied with his “play it to the middle” mentality.

There are plenty of voices to assist Obama if he is wishy-washy on strategy, and liberals in general are known as wishy-washy and overly indecisive. I can guarantee you John McCain would have given us a much stronger message last night. A more conservative commander figuratively and literally sticks to his guns (right, wrong or indifferent), but Obama will never show such character. Character shows heart. And confidence. We want our leaders who are supposed to be guiding us to have the most character possible—especially in matters of national security. For Obama to also bring up issues like the economy or any other topics, he was deflecting from the matter at hand. No other issue should have been discussed, as no other issue was pertinent or relevant to discussing a gameplan for success in the war. When you are Commander-in-Chief during a war, you MUST be as DECISIVE as you can be and handle things in a much timelier manner—that’s simply the standard a war President must be held to that distinguishes him from your or I. That all being said, I think Obama’s overly lengthy three month period of indecision not only morphed into higher doubts in his own confidence, but all the way to fear and panic. Those feelings should have been squashed and replaced with confidence, and in turn, our enemies should now be the ones worried. If I’m the enemy and I was watching that, I would not be shaking in my cave at all. God Bless the troops and I pray every day that no lives are lost. They are the heroes and no matter where one stands politically, they need our support.